Cornelius F. Kelly: Jan 16, 1936 - Aug 14, 2026

I am dead

and regardless of the manner

of my dying

at least I am on the road again.

Travel is educational,

and I am learning a great deal now.

I am neither happy nor sad,

I don't get sleepy or thirsty or hungry,

I don't get up in the middle of the night to pee.

Emotion is only a memory.

I know you are curious—

that you would like to know

what we could never know in life,

but I really can't tell you much

because of my altered state

and my inability to communicate clearly

across the boundaries of our existences.

The first thing I did was look back,

and I saw that all of you

were trying to give meaning to your lives

through your choices,

through your actions,

through your dreams.

To survive, you must establish a personal integrity.

I attempted to do this as I dealt with

guilt for regrettable actions,

frustrations from formidable failures,

anger from complex conflicts,

intoxication from alcoholism,

but now I am free.

I exist in a purely spirit world

void of pain or pleasure,

void of boredom

void of exhilaration.

I am sorry to disappoint you

because I know you expected more.

Do not be disappointed

because there is more.

I just don't have the words

to reveal the exact nature

of my present existence. Be patient.

You, too, will have this experience.

I appreciate your presence

and I love you all,

but do not grieve for me.

Grieve for the sake of grieving,

rejoice for the sake of rejoicing,

love for the sake of loving.

From time to time

you will sense my presence

when the west wind blows,

when the coffee pot perks,

when your Scrabble letters form strange words,

when your mind floats in dream.

From time to time

I may nudge you when you're reticent

or dissuade you when you're eager,

but always gently

lest you come to believe

that I have not really left.

--C. F. Kelly